At a workshop in which I was presenting to a group of 30 college students, I introduced the dreaded buzzword that never fails to elicit at least a few eyerolls: self-care. 

I immediately thought to myself, “Uh oh, tough crowd.” In front of these burned out, anxious, and tired students, I was prepared to talk about self-care knowing that many of them were thinking the same thing: there’s just enough time!

I get it. Self-care is important; why else would we hear about it all the time? But here’s the reality that so many of us in the mental health field and on the internet fail to mention: we don’t have all the time in the world! 

So how can we practice self-care when, like these students, it seems like there’s just not enough time? In this article, I’ll explain how the idea of quantity versus quality can go a long way. 

What we get wrong about self-care

When you think about self-care, what comes to mind? 

You probably think about getting some sun at the beach, or taking a day trip to the spa, or finding a good show to binge for a relaxing five hours. Often we think of self-care as a reward, an end goal that we are crawling to get to throughout the week. Many of us even rejoice when we finally get a Friday night to ourselves so we can spend the next few hours “bed-rotting.”  

And that can be a form of self-care! But that’s not the only form of self-care. 

Self-care can be taking a long, restful break to reset for the stress of the upcoming week. But we need to recontextualize the way that we think of self-care. It’s not just an end-goal or once a week activity, but it’s also the little things that help us de-stress throughout our day. But what does that actually look like? 

Quantity versus Quality

In a perfect world, we’d have hours to recover from the stressors of daily life. We would be able to get a workout in, read a book, watch TV, and get a nap in! But what happens when your time is limited? When we don’t have a high quantity of self-care time, we often resort to quick fixes that don’t always help us feel refreshed. 

Let’s say you’re running around, maybe busy with work or school, and you finally get a 15-minute break. You might grab your phone and scroll social media. Maybe you find some funny memes to help you de-stress. Or, more likely, maybe you find yourself scrolling through arguments and nonsense that leave you upset or annoyed. Now in your limited time you’ve riled yourself up more, negating the 15-minute break you just had!

That’s why when we’re pressed for time, it’s important to focus on quality self-care when our time is limited.

This is not to say that scrolling on your phone can’t help you decompress. But decompressing on social media may be more effective when you have an hour to lay in bed and scroll around. The quality of this self-care act may not be as effective when your time is limited.

So how can you make use of limited breaks so that you’re taking care of yourself? 

First, it’s important to know what self-care looks like for you. 

Whether you’re using coping skills, calling a friend, or just going for a walk, self-care can look different for all of us.

If you feel like you’re not sure what self-care looks like, our therapists here at Fleurish are a great resource for helping you explore. The important thing is that the self-care act helps you feel refreshed! Even if you don’t feel entirely rejuvenated, sometimes it helps to just have a moment to reset. 

Second, accept your constraints and be intentional with what self-care activity you will do in your limited time. 

It can be frustrating to know that you only have a short break. You might even think, what’s the point? But if you focus on the quality of those 15-minutes, you may find that the short break can go a long way. 

For example, if you choose to intentionally step outside, leave your phone behind, and get 10 minutes of sunlight, you may find yourself more refreshed. 

Or let’s say you have a 10-minute walk to your next class. Intentionality may look like turning on your favorite song and focusing on your breathing as you walk, rather than taking the bus so that you can scroll on your phone or ruminate on the stressful things on your mind. 

Third, sometimes it helps to double dip. 

With your limited time, consider combining self-care acts. 

For example, if calling a friend or family member is a nice de-stresser, then consider calling them as you walk to grab food so that you make intentional, quality use of your time. 

If you like to journal or meditate, then maybe the walk to get food is a time where you leave your phone behind and focus on mindfulness. Or if you have a deadline for an upcoming project, and you know that you like a cup of tea at night, then maybe you drink the cup of tea while you work. 

Whatever your self-care tool, reflect on how to make it a part of your routine so that the constraints of time don’t control the quality of your self-care. 

In an ideal world, we wouldn’t have to squeeze our self-care in. We’d have hours to recharge and refresh so that we can live our best lives. But as you probably already know, the truth is that we don’t have all the time in the world. 

That’s why it is important to be intentional with our self-care so that the quality of it can offset the lack of quantity. In doing so, you can help regulate your stress so that when you do get to the weekend, you have a little more energy to engage in the meaning-making activities that you love. 

Jacob Chagoya is a Therapist with Fleurish Psychotherapy. If you find yourself struggling to care for yourself and de-stress, it may be a sign to consider talk-therapy. To schedule a consult or session, you can find more information here.