Striving to be your best self is a much-applauded trait, but if you are a perfectionist, you place so much pressure on yourself to be perfect that you feel extremely stressed out.

You might notice you procrastinate more, criticize yourself, and feel disappointed in yourself. When you’ve set the bar so high, it can be very difficult to get even the most basic things done at all.

If perfectionism has been taking over your life, here are some things that can help:

1. Listen to your self-talk

   • Take notice of the messages you’re telling yourself and work to reframe the more negative phrases into more validating or positive self-talk.

2. Set more realistic standards

   • Especially during COVID-19, it is beneficial to set more achievable expectations (read: lower the bar).

   • Take into account the time you actually have available while balancing the other areas of your life and responsibilities as well as the current set of resources.

3. Celebrate small victories

   • Take a moment (or more) to slow down and review the progress you’ve made and the accomplishments that you’ve achieved. These are important and meaningful and it’s gratifying to be encouraging of yourself along the way!    

4. Shift the focus away from blaming yourself for mistakes (‘cause they happen to all of us) to lessons learned

   • Even when the situation doesn’t go the way you planned or hoped, keep in mind that failure can be viewed as progress because it drives you closer to finding a path to success.

   • Remind yourself that additional opportunities lie ahead.  

5. Seek balance in your life

• Consider the multiple areas of your life that you value, remain committed to giving time and focus to these different areas, and avoid solely focusing on your to-do list.

• Dedicate time to connecting with your supportive family and friends.  

You can move forward and leave perfectionist tendencies behind you. Give these tips a try, and notice how they make a difference in the pressure you feel to be perfect.

If you find you still need more support, or your perfectionism is rooted in a traumatic past, it may be time to speak to a therapist.