WRITE TO-DO LISTS 

If you’re like me, you forget to do important tasks when there’s a lot to get done. You have the feeling that you are supposed to be doing something, but you can’t quite put your finger on it. If your mind is constantly racing, there is no way you will be able to remember everything, and that’s totally normal! My solution has been to write EVERYTHING down. If Aunt Linda tells you that she needs you to pick up the turkey at 11:00 am sharp, immediately add it to your calendar (for the techies, you can download calendar apps on your phone that will send you reminders!). If you write everything down, it is easier for your mind to let go of some things, having the comfort of knowing that they have been recorded somewhere and you can check whenever you need. You can make a list of tasks such as “reserve boarding for the dog, buy gifts for family members, and buy a tree,” and/or you can create a list of events you need to attend such as a family dinner, celebration lunch, or New Year’s party. Make sure to write down the address and time of the event so that you are not rushing to find the information at the last minute (I’ve learned from experience!). Having everything laid out in front of you can ease anxiety about forgetting to do something.  

SELF-CARE 

Self-care is always a good thing, but it’s especially important when your routine is out of whack as it commonly is during the holiday season. With the additional tasks that the holidays bring, make sure you are still making time for your established self-care habits. For example, if you like to read for half an hour every day, make it a priority to continue this habit during the holidays even if you can only find 10 minutes. If you enjoy taking baths, opt for that instead of a quick shower. Some self-care habits I like to do are face masks, walking the dog, or getting my nails done. Engaging in these activities forces me to slow down and decompress from the day. When you are overly stressed from holiday activities, slowing down for an hour a day can help you become in tune with your thoughts and feelings, which can help you stay calm during holiday events.  

COMMUNICATION 

If interacting with certain family members during the holidays is stressful, communication will be key this season. Once you identify the interactions that you know will be stressful, think of ways you can cope with the stress ahead of time. One of the major ways I cope with stressful interactions is with clear communication. For example, if you have a family member who you feel like asks you too many intrusive questions (as we all do), plan to say something along the lines of “I don’t feel like talking about that right now, but thanks for asking anyways.” The tone you use is very important as you will want to sound assertive, but not angry. Usually people will get the message, but if they don’t seem to understand your comment and you are becoming frustrated, try using my next tip… 

HAVE AN EXIT PLAN 

It is important to have a plan in case things get overwhelming. For example, if walks calm you down, make sure to bring a warm jacket and appropriate shoes in case you need to take a take a break from the festivities. If you know there is an empty bedroom or bathroom upstairs, plan for that to be your designated decompressing space. Sometimes, you just need to get away from the sensory overload holiday events can bring and take a few deep breaths until you are calm again. If you start to feel overwhelmed, quietly excuse yourself and follow your exit plan. Knowing you have a way out of a situation will alleviate some stress about feeling trapped at an event. 

CREATE NEW TRADITIONS 

Sometimes stress about the holidays can come from being reminded of estranged relationships with family members or family members who have passed. Making new traditions that you do on your own or with a partner can help change negative associations with the holidays. For example, if you will be alone for Thanksgiving, decide on a menu of foods that you enjoy, and buy it or cook it yourself. If you make this a tradition, it can be something you look forward to doing every year. Another example could be that you and your partner buy a Christmas tree together and decorate it together. If you associate the holidays with stressful thoughts or memories, creating new traditions for yourself or with the people you care about can help to create new, positive memories.  

If you are feeling overwhelmed this holiday season and want support from a therapist, please reach out. Click below to schedule a free 15-minute phone call with our intake coordinator.